Exponential Ramblings

You may wonder why I try to stay as busy as I can with projects and other things. I have a few habits to admit. I like to make my life as complicated as possible to stop myself from thinking about things. What kind of things? Everything.   Plain and simple, I think too much. A friend of mine told me more than once, “Your mind is going 360 again.” And she could tell just from one glance. Call it being over-analytic, but I cannot seem to help it or stop it from happening. Nor do I fully understand why my brain seems to function in this manner.   My side projects stimulate my mind and keep me from over-analyzing things like friendships and relationships. I know I am well-liked by peers, after all, it is in my first name, beloved. The Wellbutrin has slowed the “racing mind” syndrome but does not always stop the ebbs and flows of depression and anxiety.   I can feel the edge of depression at this moment. It no longer cuts like a knife, but more like several edges of...

  Right now, I should be working on my Physics Lab but I am far too hyper to focus on it at the moment. Most Sundays, I am at my mom's house doing laundry and attempting to work on homework. Yesterday was much different from the norm. We had a bit of a snow squall as you will see in the following photos. Snow storm at it's heaviest, dropped 2" in one hour! My dog, in her snowsuit, showing off her snowstache.  5.5" at the height of the storm View from my back deck. You can barely make out the outline of the mountains. This morning's Winter Wonderland.    Yesterday just seemed to be the perfect ending to the weekend. I was able to study more effectively, take small breaks, spend time with my fur babies, and ease my way into the new week.    Realistically, I did not want this weekend to end. I would like to redo Saturday but that is in the past. Friday night and Sunday were perfect. I dragged a friend to see Branford Marsalis and Joey C...

  Some days, like today, I do feel like I am in a time warp and life at this small college in this increasingly smaller corner of the world has done just that. It feels somewhat like an out-of-body experience. You know you are there because you can pinch yourself, touch objects for affirmation, and interact with the environment around you.  Libertania   However, I am not the average student at this college. The older student is a small but albeit existing population. I find that some people have difficulty in knowing what to do with my "type."    Previously, in my community college life, this was never an issue. Our backgrounds, ages, and life experience were so varied that it was easier to bond. It was easier to talk to my professors on a personal basis and you could feel the genuine fondness emanate from them.    What is difficult to determine is whether or not I have personally built this little fortress or if I truly am being met with some...

Mudslide   And the title tells you why I am in love with Physics. I missed the ability to talk about the esoteric and some of the standard silliness that dominates the conversation between physicists, mathematicians, and engineers. We have no idea what will happen during a pole reversal. Will it switch fast? Or, will it be slow and painful? Then, as our professor was attempting to draw a circa 1945 bomb, it looked more like a whale. Of course the topic went to Hitchhiker's Guide and other things. We were on a tangent. Not unusual for us to do that. Don't worry, we still covered the material we needed to.    I don't get conversations like this in all my classes. They tickle my neurons and activate parts of my brain that have felt dormant for so long. I wish I could say the same for Biology and Chemistry. I fell asleep in Biology class over the summer, played on Facebook during General Chemistry, and just find a lot of the material dry. I run to my Physics homework. I ...

  I received the "thanks-for-participating" e-mail from the judges of the poetry contest on-campus. I am not deterred. It takes time for any writing to become mature and well-developed. So, here is one for St. Patrick's Day, and the Irish side of me. I am a woman of the Éire As you can quite plainly see By the photos of I as a babe Sporting chestnut red hair Upon my little crown By the time I became a toddler My hair blazed strawberry blonde Full, thick, and straight Maybe my ancestors sprinkled pixie dust Upon this fair-headed child Innocent was I Who thought it was my mom’s fault For picking all those strawberries Bringing them back by the pot full Early in June For I would eat those strawberries Washed, plain, and pruned Sometimes with a drop of sugar Some sweet, some tart, But always by the pound As I grew older and cared for the mirror I noticed these funny freckles Dotted along my cheeks I thought I had me...

  It appears, fellow readers and writers, that I have done a mighty fine job of cleaning my house. In fact, such a good job that I have hyper-extended my left shoulder. I do need to practice mindful awareness of physical activities and not just emotional ones.   But I could not help myself. My thoughts drifted like gentle waves to another time and place. My mind raced to Jamestown, RI. I spent my 3rd and 4th grade years on that little New England island. It is nowhere near as rural and out of place as it was when I was a mere slip of a girl.   My love for the ocean swelled during those years. My parents were separated and I was having problems adopting to the local culture in school. I don't know what it is about people from Rhode Island, they seem to have a very different view of looking at the world. I was happy that my parents were not together. They were not good for each other. Yet, my life was upside down with mom working 2nd shift and as hard as she could to make...

  My dear readers, apparently I have made it through Hell Week. That glorious week before Spring Break where the professors pile the work on high and deep. I made it out alive. No tears were shed, except those of joy this afternoon when I finished my Organic Chemistry exam.   My mantra for this break should be "Woman thou art unleashed!," but only for a short week. And even then, it is quickly booking up. I have events to attend next week but they look to be highly entertaining. I have been wanting to get back to my blogs, painting, and music practice. I need to firm up with a solid plan for tackling the work load at school and  be able to enjoy myself. Most of my teachers tried not to give us homework over break. As I sat down this afternoon with mom drinking her tea and I with my rare, occasional treat of afternoon coffee, I could not help but crack open the syllabus of my classes and realizing that there are two papers due before end of term, a presentation, and I...