Exponential Ramblings

  I have a few errands to run this morning so I pulled into Mill Mountain and felt disheartened a little. I understand why the department secretaries at Roanoke College feel a little sad at the end of the term. They said that they get attached to the students. You see them for four years and *poof* they're gone. Well, I have become attached to these rascals and critters despite my best intentions to go about my own business. In education, whether you are a student, teacher, or support, you get attached to each other. I know they will be back in a month, we will all be back in a month and well rested.   It is not like I am going to be completely bored out of my skull during this time either. I have projects to finish, paperwork to fill out, books to buy for next term, books to read over break, and a variety of other miscellaneous items to work on.   So I will sit here and reflect on my gingersnap coffee, not on what has been but what will be because I am always excited f...

  I don't think I could ever do Nelson Mandela any justice in a simple blog post because the simple fact of the matter is that we need to live fearlessly like he did. I am sure he had his faults, just like every human does. But there are very few people in our lives that have the capability to reach across countries and time to teach about strength, faith, and love.   I come across people everyday whose light is dim. Very dim. Their soul is lost. To what? That I do not know. I do know that I am surrounded by a sea of lost souls starving for a direction. They are atheists, they are Christians, they are your uncle, your sister, your next door neighbor, or your grocery store clerk. They are not just tired. They are drained and weary.   They are storing the worst energy one could carry with them, negative energy. They carry anxiety, depression, confusion, and anger. I am not sure if I can pinpoint the cause to one particular thing in our society. It may be very persona...

  And thus, with one fell swoop, kittens, November ends. It ended on a sharp and a flat pitch played together. As always in life, there is not a perfect balance or pitch but a juggling of circus clowns. Speaking of which, Thursday, December 5th at 7pm, there will be a Roanoke College Jazz and Wind Ensemble concert in the theatre of Olin. I have no idea what the Wind Ensemble is doing but below is what the Jazz Ensemble is playing, in order: Mercy, Mercy, Mercy soloists: Dan (trumpet), Malcolm, Mitch (guitar) So What (think Charles Mingus version) soloists: Shane (bari sax), Marcus (piano), Brielle (bass), Mitch (guitar) Back Home Again in Indiana (think Preservation Hall version) soloists: Dan (trumpet), John (trumpet), Matthew (guitar), Ruth (xylophone) Christmas Time is Here soloist: Amanda (alto sax) Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man soloist: Ruth (vocals) Granada Smoothie soloists: Amanda (alto sax), John (trumpet), Shane (Bari sax) ...

  I am sure y'all have been reading blogs of thankfulness for the past few days. Well, not to be outdone, here is my own list. Family   Not everyone is fortunate enough to be surrounded by their parents or all their siblings. So don't forget to hug and love those that are present right now. Friends   Same goes for this category. Don't forget to appreciate and be present for them. There is nothing in life that is so important that you can't take the extra five minutes out of your day for them. Keep connected. Gifts given to me by the Universe.    I know far too many people that wander through life that never now their true purpose. Physics, meteorology, oceanography, and may continuing education are just things that I do. My true purpose, most people's true purpose, is to spread love. Don't forget to love yourself. Love yourself first so that you are free to love others.

  And there it was again... the very edge. I felt it coming. The sudden agitation. The knee jerk reactions. The sense that I needed a good cry for no reason. The tense muscles in my shoulders that reminded me of the burdens I carry. These burdens were not placed on me by anyone. I placed them on myself. The inner voice that says, "You can't fail. There is no room for failure, soldier! Stop being so damn weak!"   I don't need to join any of the branches of the armed services. They live in my head and tell me how stupid and fake I am on a daily basis. That I will be found out and punished. Kicked out of the house. Kicked out of school. Kicked into the woods to live as a hermit for the rest of my born days.   Negative self talk is detrimental. So why am I doing it? Hormones. A good portion of my depression is hormone-based and lifestyle-based. If I am not eating right (like staying away from carbs and sugar-loaded foods) or not getting enough sunlight or not getting ...

  Some of the tips I am going to give are used by many writers. I know how it feels to get "stuck." To just not really "feel it." Maybe a few of these will help. Read something outside your normal stock.  Reading articles or ideas out of your usual range of vocabulary will stretch it. This is good and part of the learning process.  Recall the most exciting, boring, terrifying, funniest, embarrassing, etc., time of your life.  Write about it. Get descriptive. Write down all your $20 words . The words that make people look at you funny or don't understand. Include silly and nonsensical words. We would not have half our vocabulary if Shakespeare didn't make some of it up! Visit someplace new.  One of the things I do is go someplace different. Change of scenery can be helpful and inspiring. Describe the scene! Play in Pinterest.  Believe me, there are a ton more ideas. But let's see if a few of these work for you!

  I created a list at the beginning of the week. It's almost the weekend so maybe it is time to take stock to see if I hit these goals. 1) Be healthy       Meh. I have done so-so in this category. Not sleeping enough puts a damper on things. My friend Adrienne is right. I need exercise. Not later. Now . I have been doing small things such as rubbing oil into my cracked skin around my nails. Doing this has already reduced how horrid my hands normally look at this time of the year. And my feet? I'm tired of the callouses. So I have been babying them with pumice stone in order to get rid of the dead skin and rubbing Burt's Bees Coconut foot creme on them every night and slipping on fuzzy socks. 2) Listen      This I can say that I did better than normal by becoming more aware of the context in which things were said. All my interpersonal relationships improved because I interrupted less and put their words into pictures in my mind instead of immedi...

  Ever since my last post, I have been thinking quite a bit about the topic of love and what it means. Love is such an important topic, yet there is no class on it. Not any one that goes to any real depth. This may be a problem for humans to begin with, depth.   We fear something that is so good for us. To what end? More than likely our love life suffers due to our own ego. I am testifying from personal experiences. We don't like to be vulnerable. Hell, we don't like to be in uncomfortable situations that require some form of vulnerability.   Love allows the type of human growth that cannot be gained anywhere else because it is the most uncomfortable emotion. We are afraid of it. Afraid of showing who we really are and afraid of being rejected by those we hold in high esteem and affection.   But doing this creates an extremely selfish person. Why? Because you don't shine when you hide in shadows. No one gets to learn about the real you and if they cannot learn abo...

  I was asked to review Kanta Bosniak's new book, Twin Flames: More Love Poems . I know the wonderful Kanta through our connection on Facebook. Her posts are always delightful and thought-provoking. She ministers many weddings, leads guided meditations and workshops, and is the author of many other books. She is the type of spiritualist I love to follow since she is well-versed in a myriad of religions available to us and never levies judgment on people for the way they are or their lifestyle choices. She wears another hat, artist, and her work is shown all over.   In her new release, Twin Flames, Kanta delivers another round of creative poetry and whimsical art. The book is peppered with glorious quotes about love from the greatest thinkers. Her poetry is truly from the heart. Her pieces range from playful to little heart pangs. She gives every reader a gift. It is a gift that love is real, possible and begins with yourself.   In an hour one Sunday evening, she took t...

  There will be times where I may go for a few weeks without posting or trying to make an honest effort of connecting with you, my audience. We have finished the first week and a half of class for the Fall semester. They have been filled with writing research papers, prepping for a presentation, and getting my bearings on the Fall schedule. My research counted for my Intensive Learning Course but not for my Physics Research course, such is life and I will jump through that hoop this coming Spring.   And now that I am in the Roanoke College Jazz Band as their lead alto saxophonist (and only alto saxophonist), there will be another chunk of time that I will be away from this, that, and the other thing. We have our first concert on September 28th, the day after I give my poster presentation on my research. Work for the poster presentation will begin this week so that we may get them printed well in advance of the event for Parent's Weekend.   Mom has been a bit under the w...

  This is a little bit of a game I play with myself... word association. The point is to begin with simple words and word purpose, like nouns and verbs, and then move onto the larger part of my vocabulary with more extraordinary words and greater meaning or ideas behind those words. It's like a pre-writing warm-up exercise. What can you pop out of your brain? Strings and things Pulleys and gullies Ropes and hopes Trees and breezes Seas and keys Heart and part Song and wrong Sigh and fly Petal and metal Pluck and funk Goals and Souls Dismember and Remember Metal trees in my dreams with pulleys as fruit And I with ladder in hand Climbed each branch Threading rope Through the loops attached each one to my head My hair forcing the pulleys to spin Bending the tree My way Uprooting and replanting Moving forward Slowly Steadily In artistic drudgery The wheels spin but the hamster is dead Or is it? Open your eyes Love is never dead Bu...

  Did you ever get the feeling that your life keeps repeating itself? As in a very realistic form of the movie, except the calendar date actually changed? Or that your life is following this really oblong path?    Some days it feels like I have lived it all before. I have seen it all before. Eventually, you get tired of repeating mistakes but sometimes you just can't seem to help it. So you try and make a different choice only to realize it just got you back to the same place. Again .    But this isn't the time to complain and it is certainly not the time to run away and hide under a rock for the last five months of the year. This is the time to let go of stage fright and put myself out there. If anyone knew how much I have been knocked down in my life, they would be surprised at the fact that I have never crawled into a bottle or submersed myself into some walking catastrophe.    The problem is, I have been trying to play it safe. I cannot ...

  ***Warning: Controversial and explicit material***  This is a very un-Christian-like post so you should slowly turn and RUN as fast as your feet can carry your couch potato rump. Yep, I am feeling sassy today. All because Ken Cuccinelli is trying to make one of our hard-earned, American right to enjoy activities of the sexually explicit nature as illegal as killing your neighbor. This is something that affects all adults, no matter your sexual orientation.   At this moment, I am trying to count on my fingers how many people I know who would turn away oral sex. Some may turn away from anal sex, but oral? I can't name a a single person who would turn away from one of the two forms of pleasure or even both.   Cuccinelli is claiming that the law would protect children. We already have laws that prosecute child molesters. Why do we need this law?  We don't .  He constantly fails to make connections that could repeatedly hurt the residents of this state...

  Much like the things I own, my thoughts are scattered from the North to South poles. Reaching a sort of equilibrium is tedious and time-consuming. I am in the last couple of days of my research project with the realization that I need more data and more time. The room in the basement is almost done being set up and the puppy and I began sleeping there last night. So far, I am the laundry troll, the bathroom scrubber, and the floor sweeper (as time allows). Realistically, it is a time to make another clean sweep and start over.    I have started over many times and I am no stranger to it. It feels like my life is a constant, never-ending transition. I am curious as to whether or not I am subconsciously choosing this state. I can say that my life is not short on experiences. I would like those experiences to be more travel-based than what it is right now. But home is wherever my family is.    I do get trapped in fantasy worlds on occasion and have to stop fro...

  The research groups that I have been working with over the summer decided to go see that Salem Red Sox last night. I went simply because I have not been to a baseball game since I was eight years old. I held a grudge against baseball for many years. My biological father loved baseball but I didn't for two reasons. My ballet lessons happened to be on the same nights that his company played against other teams. So instead of sacrificing his needs for mine, I was taken out of ballet because of the time conflict. Needless to say, my mom flipped out and I really wanted to go back to ballet. The second reason why is because every time I went to a game, I was always hit by a baseball.    The day had been hot and humid and we were lucky enough to be on the shady side of the field to watch the game. We were not broiling or attacked by gnats. Even though we were watching the game, I do believe that there was a bit more socializing involved than actual game-watching. A couple of ...