How I get past depression.

   

  Depression and I have spent a lot of quality time together over the years. We know as much about each other in the same way the most intimate of lovers knows every line, curve, and secret. Depression is not a welcome lover and known to attack when you least want to endure it's pain and memories.
  I can recount the days that I lovingly gazed upon the gleaming silver blade of a knife, or held onto a bottle of prescription pills too long, or thought about how lovely it would be to wrap my truck around the thickest oak tree at the side of the road in the experimental attempt to meld metal, flesh, and wood. A deadly dance of the macabre.
  There is no sure-fire way to get rid of it. As a matter of fact, it often shows up on your face like a bad pimple before your period. You try your best to ignore it but you really want to pop that sucker into oblivion. All I can say is, what works for me may not work for you in matters of coping with the blue-headed demon.
  Maybe the things that I do differently allow me to push past the depression. I allow myself to feel it. Truly and deeply. I take the negative energy and allow myself to create with it. I express it through poetry, art, or music. I allow the tidal wave of emotions, let myself cry, and make it one of the most intense experiences possible. It sounds like a form of self-torture. It is. I dig deep and pull it out. Place the source of the depression in a petri dish and examine it closely. I want to know and understand where it is coming from and why because the next time I see it, I can fight it better than the first time I saw it. I no longer wallow in self pity for weeks at a time, but have learned to push it out of the system in less than 24 hours.
  But the most important thing I do is that I explore. I don't think we allow ourselves enough time to evaluate or dig into it. Most people with depression eventually figure out their triggers and as soon as they see the trigger, they automatically reject it or sometimes they recognize it and decide, "Eff it... what can possibly go wrong?" It takes practice, a lot of time, and creating the strongest form of will power that you can conceive. You learn and recognize that it is a choice to remain in just existing rather than fully living.
  I have also come to realize that how I interact with people is a choice. There is a saying around the interwebs that you are most like your 5 closest friends. If you choose to hang with negative, judgmental people you will soon become "one of them." I have learned that being one of them leaves no room for the rays of sunshine I have in my life right now. I won't spend my valuable time walking on eggshells around certain people for fear that I may accidentally insult them. It is wearing on the soul. I love happy, positive people.
  The energy you send out into the universe is what will come back to you. Make it good, make it strong. I allow my energy to tell the universe that "I am here, this is me, and I choose to be happy." To the people who are judgmental and negative, you reap what you sow. If you persist and acting the way you do, do not wonder why bad things keep happening to you because it is your choice that you wish to continue the drama.
  For those that are hurting in some fashion, forgiveness is your word. Forgive yourself and tell yourself that you are perfectly imperfect, as it should be. Put "perfectly imperfect" on every friggin Post-it note you can find and slap them all over your house; the fridge, your mirrors, the tv, your phone, your favorite picture. I don't care where you put it as long as your eyeballs come into contact with those pieces of paper several hundred times a day. Make it your mantra.
  Dear readers, do your best to keep out of the depths of depression but if you must go there, do so with the intent that you can shorten your duration in personal hell. I don't like being there too often and would prefer not to see you next to me on my next trip down.