What attracts me to a relationship whether it is friendship or otherwise.

  What attracts me to befriend someone is an equal mixture of passion and compassion. Passion for life and compassion for people and animals.

  I was joking around yesterday about watching the men work on the lawn at the house I am staying in while in South Carolina. Quite honestly, I enjoy watching people work. I enjoy watching people own their business, whether it's landscaping or the boardroom. There is something sexy and awe-striking about being fully engaged in work. I am not only watching the sinewy muscles of a lanky man know exactly how to trim the palms in the yard, I am watching their brain at work. 

  I am a self-proclaimed sapiosexual. I like brains. I like watching people use them. I can only dream about watching the axon terminals of each neuron pass along signals to the dendrites of the next neuron. It is an absolutely fabulous process to imagine. 

  I am also one of the least judgmental people you will meet. I feel that every person has a story and that they have positive and negative attributes. My belief is that a person should not be judged because we can never truly know everything about them. Actions are open to judgement. I am very much a "hate the sin not the sinner" person and that is probably the easiest way for me to explain it. We are not perfect but we should not make that an excuse to not try to be better. 

 Unfortunately, there is a biological basis for positive and negative people. Alongside with the possibility that people are naturally attracted to negative news. So if you are posting a lot of negative news or negative feelings, you might be setting yourself up for poor cognitive thinking skills. People who tend towards negativity have more difficulty solving problems than people who are generally positive. 

  However, I think we have the capability to fine tune and change our brain. It's difficult but I think it can be done. How else would people learn to become successful? I have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Mild Depression but even the psychiatrist noted that I had a very healthy and positive outlook despite tough circumstances. 

  Here is how I am surviving during my transformation years:

1. When was the last time you felt you had the most support? What was the status of your mental state? Things always seem better during good times because we are happy and that attracts people. However, if you are always down, people will disappear faster than cockroaches in a kitchen after you turn the light on. 
2. Use daily affirmations. They can be from anywhere. Put them on a sticky note and place them all over your house until they become your mantra. One of my favorites is "The light is my song and my strength." You will have to excuse me, I am a physicist and light to me represents the photon, nice packets of energy. You see, it doesn't matter the origination even if it is a little silly, as long as it works!
3. Build or rebuild your support network. Look for the poisonous, toxic people in your life. You don't need them. Clear up your friends list if you must. You don't have to subscribe to negativity.
4. Choose to be happy. This is probably the toughest of all and definitely requires at least one morning cup of coffee. Yet, there have been days that I walked into work after having a bad morning and my mood affected everyone around me. Did you know that you could do that? Well, you can. So for the sake of everyone else, fake it until you make it. Tell a good friend you are having a rough morning, you know, the one that can make you laugh and you will be fine in no time. 
5. Eat well and exercise. I have only discovered this one recently and I cannot believe how much of a benefit it is to my mood and my brain!
6. Don't take everything as a personal assault. Unless it is specifically aimed at you! One of the biggest problems we have in our culture is the idea that one must take offense to everything. 
7. Keep a wellness journal. I have found when I am going through a rough patch that if I chronicle everything from exercise to food and connect the wild ride of emotions, I will find a pattern within a week or two. If it is something that I can tweak myself, I do it. If I don't know how to tweak, I seek professional advice. This also helps all the medical professionals on "your team", from your general practitioner to your psychiatrist so you can be more in charge of your wellness.

  One thing I have found from cognitive behavioral therapy is that it does not work if you don't want it to, thereby perpetuating the negativity in your life. In general, most people do not need a consistent therapist and can learn more from a life and health coach. I have found that I have learned the most from coaches than from anyone else.
  Honestly, the best thing you can do is arm yourself with information and research. When your doctor prescribes meds, ask questions, and read the side effects. Take charge of your diagnosis so that you control it and it doesn't control you.