Why Your Idea of Love Sucks and What You Can do About it.

   This is not going to be a massive blog post or rant but a reminder of certain values. Here is my list of things that kill your relationships.

  • Being judgmental. Look at the way you communicate, from your friendships and courtships to your online posts. If you are pointing fingers and telling groups of people how wrong they are all the time, you will find that your friends will back away. Why? They don't want to be in the line of fire when other people begin to judge you and they don't agree with you. Show the best side of yourself in all communication.
  • Withholding. All withholding. Whether it is your inner self to physical contact to gratitude to information. If you think that you are not worthy of good friendships, then your friends will think that they are not worth your time. If you have difficulty opening up, start with one person who you think you can trust. You don't have to be 100% sure that they won't betray you. That is how trust is built. But in order to repair past damage, you can't hold everyone accountable for something that they didn't do because of one person. You become a bitter, lonely asshole if you do. 
  • Resentment. Stop resenting and start communicating! This can happen in friendships so don't think you are safe just because you are not romantically involved with the person. Of course, resentment wouldn't happen if you worked on the first two items on the list. Most of all, be honest with yourself, what do you want or expect in a relationship with this person? There is nothing wrong with realizing that only fill a small pocket in your life. It will allow you to concentrate on the people who want to take part in the larger circle of your interactions.
So what are you doing to improve your relationships?




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Art and Science of Moving

Image
  The fact of the matter is that I am moving for the third time in four years. It's a process that is annoying and overwhelming. I thought that after I graduated college and moved into my boyfriend's place that would be it. No more moving. No more shuffling.    I whittled all my belongings down to 170 square feet from 2300 square feet in 2013. I threw a lot of items out, mercilessly. Kitchen items that were functional and storage units that could hold plenty of stuff. Knowing that I had little space to work with and lacked funding to rebuild a materialistic empire, I only purchased yarn, books, and art supplies in the past few years.    I try to keep a tight lid on spending despite the fact that I would like to buy one of every item from my part-time job at a craft store and I check more books out of the library than I buy. Which does not count for much since I can check two or three books out and buy the book I must have from Barnes and Noble the same week. B...
Read more

Rural Retreat 2018

Image
Swag from Rural Retreat 2018     Normally, when I sit down to write about an event, an issue, or a cause the words flow freely. I could start at the beginning, which I tried, and found that strategy useless and unenthusiastic. But I am not apathetic nor am I super hyper excited. What I have found from this weekend's Democratic Retreat is that I am more focused on bringing back to my committee what I learned from the sessions that I attended. Krystal Henson: Design Thinker    I am grateful for the organizers that worked diligently to put this past weekend together. I am grateful for the last minute sponsorship of Deb Baum and Steve Bunn from the CD9 (congressional district). I learned about the basics of Votebuilder and how to create a strategy for canvassing in a way that helps our committee update the database and zero in on potential voters for House and Senate races. I enjoyed Barbara Jones and Krystal Henson's presentation on leveraging social media to h...
Read more

How I get past depression.

Image
       Depression and I have spent a lot of quality time together over the years. We know as much about each other in the same way the most intimate of lovers knows every line, curve, and secret. Depression is not a welcome lover and known to attack when you least want to endure it's pain and memories.   I can recount the days that I lovingly gazed upon the gleaming silver blade of a knife, or held onto a bottle of prescription pills too long, or thought about how lovely it would be to wrap my truck around the thickest oak tree at the side of the road in the experimental attempt to meld metal, flesh, and wood. A deadly dance of the macabre.   There is no sure-fire way to get rid of it. As a matter of fact, it often shows up on your face like a bad pimple before your period. You try your best to ignore it but you really want to pop that sucker into oblivion. All I can say is, what works for me may not work for you in matters of coping with the blue-heade...
Read more