Judgement Day.

  Is it me? Or is it a human preoccupation to judge things without knowing the whole story? And let's say you know the whole story, should you pass judgement based on your belief system? I have seen people on both sides of the political fence pass judgement onto each other. Some people get over it rather quickly while others do not.
  Why do you care about what people think? It only gives them rental space in your head. I will never understand it and I, quite frankly, don't want to be apart of it.
  I saw the pre-evaluating therapist today. She was very pleasant and warm. You have to have those traits to draw people out of their shell to tell their story. She noticed that I have a support system. She noticed that I don't want to travel down the same rocky road I have watched others go down. No criminal history, a tea-totaller (sp?), and no major episodes that required interference from a mental hospital. Of course, this may just be me pulling myself up by my bootstraps and fighting my way out of depression.
  And it is as simple as that, for me. Fight or succumb. But my normal therapist knows that I always take the hard way out. Yes, I do. That experience speaks greater volumes than taking the easy way out. Or Frost is sitting on one shoulder whispering "The Road Not Taken" in my head and Dylan Thomas on the other shoulder crying "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night."
  It is easy to succumb. And it is what I think is half the problem with people. They give in too easily.
  Either I am far too stubborn or strong-willed. I will go with strong-willed. And I will fight my way out. As usual.
  When I moved Virginia in 2003, I did not think that I had left a newly strong-willed and fiercely independent woman behind. But I did. As this Southern fog lifts from my brow, I am beginning to see many things in a new light. Many of them are friendships. I love my friends, especially the ones that are very close to me. I have hand-picked them. If you notice that I am not talking directly to you as much or not sharing much, you are not one of them. Some have potential but I believe these will grow over time.
  Here is the first thing, forgive yourself for who you are. It's alright to be who you are as long as you accept your own flaws. One thing that the therapist and I talked about earlier was the fact that you would be shocked by the seemingly successful people whom we would judge to "have it all" really don't have anything. I am grateful for what I have. Be grateful for whatever you have, no matter how small. But you also have to live with the fact that until you seek growth and improvement, you will be stagnant. Your relationships will falter after a certain time. I know I will be outgrowing certain friends this year and that cannot be helped.
  As the lens of depression lifts, the world looks a little brighter and darker at the same time. I can see a person's contrasting nature. I can see who they really are and I can feel the pit of my stomach churning again. In high school, my drama teacher specifically taught us to watch people, closely. It is one of my favorite activities. I love watching people and thinking about their life story. That would be the writer in me trying to find a character. Would that be me passing on judgement? Not really because I am only telling you and having fun at guessing. For someone, somewhere, has said that if we threw all our problems in a collective pile, we would readily snatch our problems back. It is what we are built for, those particular problems. So, far be it from me to judge your life. I have no right to judge you as you have no right to judge mine but I welcome you on this journey if you can bite your tongue, watch, and learn. By the way, my true friends don't walk on eggshells around me, we tell each other like it is.