Perseverance or Bullheaded?

When the world says, "Give up,"
Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."
~Author Unknown

  I figured it is about time for a personal update. I have been tirelessly working on a 2200 sq. ft. house. Cleaning it from top to bottom, inside and out. It is partially cathartic and more the need to be ready for housemates. Needless to say, I have been working my @$$ off. 

  I am handling my stress a bit better since I come home to an empty house every night and greeted by my furry children. Plus, I had my day with the shrink who had come to the conclusion that I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and ADD. What I was experiencing in the Fall was something that many people with severe stress experience, mania. Now, I am on Wellbutrin for the GAD/ADD and Trazadone for sleep. Waking up every time you are about to hit REM sleep will screw with your body and your mind. I was waking three to four times per night. 

  There is something to be said for being more aware of how you feel and being able to open up in a productive and proactive way. While one is putting herself first, there are others involved to consider. Sometimes, you will have to walk on toes and be mean about certain things but there are positive ways of dealing with others that does not cause strife. Hurt feelings, maybe. However, time seems to heal many wounds. I have to count my blessings, for there are many. I am hoping to get right with karma but it is difficult to travel an enlightened road. 

  I am doing my best to avoid things that cause internal conflict. There are times where I just have to focus on these conflicts and bridge the gap to an understanding with them. In anger or sadness, I turn to defense mechanism #2 and use humor, satirical and sarcastic, to get it off my mind. After all, we are responsible for what we welcome into our lives and must bear the rewards and the consequences for doing so. Here is hoping we all experience more rewards. 

Namaste.